Be concerned, be very concerned

"Right now, the bird flu is just a blip in the newspapers, but if the avian influenza virus undergoes antigenic shift with a human influenza virus, the resulting subtype could be highly contagious and highly lethal in humans," Matthew Wexler, the president of the National Alarmist Council and one of the nation's leading fear mongers, said Monday. "My professional opinion, and more importantly, my personal belief, is that this is a cause for great national alarm."

The sad thing is that this is so close to the typical Union of Concerned Scientists or Public Citizen fire drill, it's hard to tell the Onion from reality.

Coming soon, "Study Links Second Hand Smoke to Spontaneous Nuclear Explosions" followed by "McDonalds Restaurants Found to be Source of Iraqi Insurgency".